Lonely from Thanksgiving to New Year's: getting through the holiday season in Canada
Key takeaways
- The stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year's can make loneliness feel sharper.
- Planning small things ahead, keeping your routines and reaching out to one person can make a real difference.
- 9-8-8 and the Hope for Wellness Help Line are available 24/7, including on statutory holidays.
- When you need to talk, you can open your AI wellbeing assistant, any time.
In Canada, the holiday season starts early. Thanksgiving arrives on the second Monday of October, and from then on there are store displays, office parties, family dinners and New Year's Eve plans. For many people it's a happy time. For others, it's when loneliness feels sharpest: when you're far from family, recently separated, grieving, working through the holidays or simply not in the mood to celebrate. If the season feels heavy, there is nothing wrong with you, and there are ways to make it more bearable.
Why the holidays can feel so lonely
Holidays come with strong expectations. Ads and social media show full tables and cheerful families, which can make your own situation feel like it's falling short. If you've lost someone, empty chairs and old traditions can bring grief back to the surface. If you've moved to another province or another country, the distance may feel bigger when everyone else seems to be heading home.
The calendar doesn't help. In much of Canada, December has the shortest days of the year, the weather can make travel tricky and many activities pause. Students may be stuck in residence or in a quiet city between terms, and shift workers in hospitals, transit or retail may be working while others are off.
Family gatherings can be complicated too. Being back at your parents' table in Sudbury or Saskatoon can bring up old roles, tensions or questions you'd rather avoid, like when you're going to settle down or find a better job. It's possible to love your family and still come home from Thanksgiving feeling drained and unseen.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone
You can feel lonely at a crowded family gathering and content on a quiet evening by yourself. Loneliness is the gap between the connection you want and the connection you have. That's useful to know, because it means the goal isn't necessarily to fill every day with plans, but to find a few moments of connection that feel meaningful to you. A ten-minute phone call with someone who really listens can do more than a whole evening of small talk.
It also helps to notice your own thoughts. Loneliness tends to whisper things like "everyone else has somewhere to be" or "nobody would want to hear from me". These thoughts feel true, but they are rarely the whole story. Gently questioning them can make it easier to reach out.
Practical ways to cope with holiday loneliness
- Plan your days ahead. Statutory holidays and long weekends can feel endless when there's nothing on the calendar. Sketch a loose plan: a walk, a call, a film, a meal you enjoy.
- Reach out first. Send a message to someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Many people are waiting for someone else to make the first move.
- Create your own tradition. A Friendsgiving potluck, a winter walk on Boxing Day or a movie marathon on New Year's Day can become something you look forward to.
- Get outside in daylight. Even a short walk in the snow or a skate at a local outdoor rink can lift your mood and break up long days indoors.
- Give back. Volunteering at a food bank, community meal or seasonal event is a common way to meet people and feel part of something.
- Limit the scrolling. If social media makes you feel worse, take a break from it during the holidays.
- Go easy on alcohol. It can feel like it helps in the moment but often makes low moods worse the next day.
When you're grieving or far from family
If this is your first holiday season after a loss, you don't have to keep every tradition or pretend you're fine. You might light a candle, cook a loved one's recipe or spend a few minutes looking at photos. It's okay to leave a gathering early or to say no to an invitation.
If you're far from family, schedule video calls with time zones in mind, and consider sharing a meal over video. If you're new to Canada, settlement agencies and community centres often host holiday events where you can meet people.
The weeks after the holidays can be hard too. January brings dark mornings, cold weather and bills. If you notice your mood dipping as winter goes on, read our article on winter blues and seasonal affective disorder.
Where to find support over the holidays
Helplines in Canada don't close for the holidays. You can call or text 9-8-8 at any time if you are thinking about suicide. Indigenous Peoples across Canada can contact the Hope for Wellness Help Line at 1-855-242-3310 or by online chat, 24/7. Young people can reach Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or by texting CONNECT to 686868. To find community meals, drop-in programs or other local services, dial 2-1-1.
An AI emotional support chat can also keep you company on a long evening. You can talk about how you're feeling, plan something small for tomorrow or simply vent without worrying about bringing anyone down. It doesn't replace the people in your life or professional care, but it is there whenever you need it, including on December 25.
If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) at any time, or dial 9-1-1 if your safety is at risk.
Frequently asked questions
Why do I feel worse during the holidays?
High expectations, reminders of loss, distance from family, short days and a break from normal routines can all make the holidays harder. It's a common experience.
Is it okay to skip holiday gatherings?
Yes. You can choose the events that feel right for you and decline others. Planning something you enjoy instead can help.
Are helplines open on statutory holidays?
Yes. The 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline, Kids Help Phone and the Hope for Wellness Help Line are available 24/7, every day of the year.
You don't have to get through the holidays alone
Your AI wellbeing assistant is here to listen and help you find a clearer perspective, privately and 24/7. It works alongside the care you already have.
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